Craigslist

Spread on knees
hits taken
some wanted some shared

performance anxiety
drug induced
a lady doesn’t question

you leave  –
no penetration
contact exchange
heres my rolodex

some days later
is it me or is it you
i grew the pair to ask

anywhere, anytime
was your reply,
watched or not –
do you remember?

i wanted coke
travis & thomas
spiting me
boys don’t like

to share their toys

i asked you
over snapchat
5 hours later and
i inhale as you stare

did you judge me?

he did it just for me
his first sell
my first buy

we still don’t fuck

fast forward a month
he comes to smoke
after work so late at night

he smokes my weed
teasing me with looks
and goes off
to hang out with people that
are not me

why doesn’t he want me?

we never text- just snap snap snap
delays so long ; a tangible physical pain
overthinking & creating new truths

the uneven affection
is so clear
my friends beg beg beg
he doesn’t deserve you

he sells me some molly
shits weak af fam
i get the real girl
and introduce him

the beach at night
cold air on warm skin
tiny touches
deep stories | 20 questions

he leaves that night
without touching me
i touch myself to sleep

happy new year
new year new me?
i asked him on a date
he never answered

acid adventures on saturdaze
ybor and macabre stuffed animals
turkey hearts in glass vials
shadows
hunting for rats

the castle
a place quite me
a place very you
I ask why you dont kiss me
and you don’t really answer

adventures abound
i’m good at giving him drugs
he’s good at leaving when they’re gone

my 25 birthday
you wouldn’t say you would go
with me and my friends
you showed up the day after
and kissed me at sunset
after we ate fish tacos
and dropped
dropped
dropped

our last adventure
beans on a thursday
pegasus and pool
spiderman jackets | special k

bar empties; not quite finished
fantasy land | always open
pool; creepy old men
waiting wanting watching

i lose to you
you lose to you.

7:30 in the morning
Uhaul email reservation confirmed
you ask me to help you move
my excitement blinds your sarcasm

we are not on the same page
you leave ; i live
bagels by myself
cream cheese contemplation

hours later -pink and red pills
grabbing your attention
in the only way I can
“whatchu doing tonight”
your last message to me

numero blocked
evaded explanations
are you a coward?
or was I blind

reliving
that kiss that felt like
something

 

 

 

 

 

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